Sports to begin with are such an amazing thing. Personally I am a huge soccer fanatic, and love this time of year, we have all European teams ending their seasons, so the race gets more intense for that finish, and we have the champion league semi-finals up and coming. I also look forward to this time of year so much, because school is finally ending and once school ends, well that’s when I can sleep till 4pm, everyday… NAKED (that’s right, completely nude; all I wear is a handkerchief around my neck)
But now the hype in Montreal isn’t around soccer, but around hockey, and I’ll be honest you fucking asshole (I’m sorry I’m really grumpy today) I’m not the biggest hockey fan there is. During the season I’m the type of fan who watches Sportscenter and then the next day speaks of the main highlights as if I actually watched the game #winning. BANDWAGONER, fuck that I have never in my life even seen a bandwagon, if you want to judge me and call me a racist slur you can call me, “a casual fan who occasionally watches games during the season, but really gets his groove on during the playoffs because he gets a chance to not shave for a month and not be made fun of” (OFAN for short, “occasional fan”) that’s all I’m willing to accept, cuz a bandwagonee isn’t really my cup of tea (I usually go for chamomile if you must know). And true hockey fans hate us OFAN’s because we just get into it during the playoffs, but no offence TRUE fans, but already I find it hard to remember that each morning and each night I have to brush my teeth, so fuck imagine how hard it is for me to keep track of hockey games. The only time I keep track is playoff time because come playoff time the vibe in Montreal is amazing!!!
It’s beautiful to see the amount of pride we take in our home team, we almost consider it a religion, chanting hymn’s of praise of Carey Price, kneeling and sliding in praise of our Lord Stanley after scoring, and our administrators sexually assaulting little boys (Oh wait never mind that’s only Catholic priests)… The point is that we should be proud to have such a strong support over a sport, and maybe should encourage it! unless you’re a Boston fan, in that case you’re either gay, or really gay.
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